Ask Molly Ringwald: I cannot take my eyes off my beautiful workmate
‘In an ideal world, this situation would be something you could talk about with your wife. Unfortunately, she’d probably feel pretty bad’
I love my wife. We have a great relationship
of 13 years. But I have an employee who is stunningly beautiful. She is
24; I’m 40. I cannot take my eyes off her and when she is in the room I
have palpitations. I respect her work and abilities very much, and if I
could turn off my intense attraction to her, I would. We have a good
working relationship, there is no flirting on either side, but I
sometimes have to sit there with my eyes closed. My reactions feel
entirely involuntary and very troubling. I don’t feel guilty, exactly,
although being married I often wonder whether I should; but it is very
distracting and upsetting. I can’t reassign her to work with other
people as she is essential to the projects we work on together, but I
need this to stop.
There’s no reason to feel guilty about being attracted to your stunning employee. We’re all susceptible to beauty and charm. In an ideal world, this situation would be something you could talk about with your wife. Unfortunately, she’d probably feel pretty bad hearing you’re shutting your eyes because this woman has such a powerful effect on you – though she’d feel much worse if you acted upon this infatuation.
I would suggest you first speak with someone who is impartial. When your hormones are firing, the only way that you can stop it is to step away from the situation.
Consider a couple of visits to a therapist or, if for some reason that’s unfeasible, talk to a close friend who has proven himself to be both decent and discreet. (What you don’t need is a hooting hyena cheering you on; when struggling with temptation, people often unconsciously seek out the voice of unreason.) Remember, you haven’t done anything wrong: in fact, the point of talking about it (with the right person) is to ensure that you don’t.
Then try, if you can, not to work so closely with your colleague. You said she’s essential – but so is your marriage. If you continue to be around her, chances are you’ll eventually act on your feelings. Not everybody does, of course, but it’s a foolish risk to take.
Limit your contact with her as much as possible – and that includes work parties.
• Send your dilemmas about love, family and life in general to askmolly@theguardian.com
There’s no reason to feel guilty about being attracted to your stunning employee. We’re all susceptible to beauty and charm. In an ideal world, this situation would be something you could talk about with your wife. Unfortunately, she’d probably feel pretty bad hearing you’re shutting your eyes because this woman has such a powerful effect on you – though she’d feel much worse if you acted upon this infatuation.
I would suggest you first speak with someone who is impartial. When your hormones are firing, the only way that you can stop it is to step away from the situation.
Consider a couple of visits to a therapist or, if for some reason that’s unfeasible, talk to a close friend who has proven himself to be both decent and discreet. (What you don’t need is a hooting hyena cheering you on; when struggling with temptation, people often unconsciously seek out the voice of unreason.) Remember, you haven’t done anything wrong: in fact, the point of talking about it (with the right person) is to ensure that you don’t.
Then try, if you can, not to work so closely with your colleague. You said she’s essential – but so is your marriage. If you continue to be around her, chances are you’ll eventually act on your feelings. Not everybody does, of course, but it’s a foolish risk to take.
Limit your contact with her as much as possible – and that includes work parties.
• Send your dilemmas about love, family and life in general to askmolly@theguardian.com
12 Simple Ways to Be More Attractive
Lifestyle - By Dipok Dutta
We want one thing common: being more attractive. But the
purpose for being attractive varies. What’s yours? Well, you needn’t
share! To strike your attractive physique, maintain these tips and you
will be surprised seeing how magically they work!
Image Credit: lynndentalcare.com
#1 Keep Smile
Keep a smile on your face. When you smile, you look more friendly and approachable. People feel comfort to deal with you. No matter what your are feeling inside, smile!Image Credit: lynndentalcare.com
#2 Maintain Facial Hair
It is important to take care of facial hair. Men should shave regularly. If you want to maintain long beard, you should keep that neat and trim. Women should shape eyebrows properly.
Image Credit: mycenter.com.br
#3 Keep Hair Tip-top
Your hair is just like your crown! So take care of it. A nice look is the first step to attract someone. Get regular haircuts as it is important for your hair to be healthy. Keep your hair clean and tidy. It is really important for attractive appearance.
Image Credit: blogcdn.com
#4 Wear Fit Clothes
Your dress is really important. People like one who is dressed properly. So, take care of what you are wearing. Buy the clothes that fit you properly. Oversized or too tight clothes make you look odd.
Image Credit: rusolclothing.com
#5 Maintain Proper Eye Contact
Proper eye contact is important when you are talking to someone. If you maintain eye contact properly, people will feel important and be happy. Some people feel shy to maintain eye contact. That’s not a big problem. Start with your close ones. Maintain proper eye contact while talking to them. Then, try it with strangers.
Image Credit: pandawhale.com
#6 Walk Confidently
Be confident while walking. Do you know how to walk with confidence? Keeping your body relaxed and holding eyes and head up help you look confident. Making you look confident is a great part of being attractive.
Image Credit: flickr.com
#7 Smell Nice
No one likes one who smells bad. All your efforts to make yourself attractive can end in smoke if you smell bad. So be careful about this fact. Take shower every day and use deodorant regularly. Brush your teeth properly. You may use medication to get rid of bad breath.
Image Credit: sanomadigital.ro
#8 Be Relaxed
Are you seared all the time thinking what others are thinking of you? If yes, you should fight to kick away this habit. Be confident and open yourself to others. Communicate with them and be easy. Nervousness isn’t liked. So, be confident and relaxed while dealing with people.
Image Credit: jordangrayconsulting.com
#9 Laugh and Make Laugh
There’s a saying, “laughter is a good medicine”. When you laugh, people around you feel comfortable and are more likely to be happy with you. Laughter can make you look attractive. Most importantly, if you can make people laugh you make them happy. And you are treated with the same emotions.
Image Credit: blogtarot.com
#10 Body Language
Your body language is important. If you look busy in your body language, people are likely to avoid you. They will think that you don’t want to be disturbed. But if you are easy and relaxed, people will feel comfortable to approach you.
Image Credit: imgur.com
#11 Ask Questions
Don’t try to speak about you all the time. While gossiping with someone ask questions. But don’t ask anything inappropriate. When you ask questions, people think that you are interested to know about them and they feel important.
Image Credit: squarespace.com
#12 Wear Bright Color
Wear colorful clothes. Be careful to avoid some colors which can be inappropriate because of the tone of your skin or the ambience of the place to go. Usually, bright colors attract people. You also look more confident.
Image Credit: picturesbymom.com
Put all these together and you will be awesomely attractive.
source: TENET
10 Fabulous Facts About the Female Body
Did you know that the clitoris is the only organ in the body designed purely for pleasure? The clitoris has a higher concentration of nerve fibers than is found anywhere else on the body—800, to be exact, twice the number found in the penis.
2. The Hymen Is Overrated
The hymen is a small membrane that surrounds or partially covers the external vaginal opening. It can tear upon first penetration, or it can stretch. In other words, the presence or absence of a hymen says nothing about a female’s virginity.
3. Knowing If You’re Pregnant Isn’t So Simple
Since most of us don’t know the exact day we ovulate, much less the day we conceive, doctor’s measure pregnancy starting from the first day of the last menstrual period. That’s why at-home pregnancy tests aren’t very accurate until a week after a missed period.
4. The Uterus Is Elastic
In a non-pregnant woman, a healthy uterus is a small organ measuring about three inches long. During a healthy pregnancy, the outer edge of the uterus reaches the lower edge of the rib cage. That is some ultra-elastic power!
5. I Create Milk—What’s Your Superpower?
Not only is breast milk the perfect food for a growing baby, breast-feeding can also reduce your risk of developing breast cancer. The good news is that breast size has nothing to do with how much milk you’re body can or cannot produce or if you will or won’t be able to breast-feed. Milk is produced in the mammary glands that are present in all women’s breasts, big or small.
6. Women Hear Differently From Men
According to research conducted at the Indiana University School of Medicine, men listen with only one side of the brain, while women use both. This is not to say that one is more capable than the other, but it sure does add fuel to the argument that women are better listeners.
7. Women Have More Guts
The lower portion of the colon tends to be longer in women than in men. That and all our reproductive organs being squeezed into a tiny space create more distress in our midsections. In other words, women totally deserve more bathrooms with more privacy.
8. Pubic Hair Falls Out When It’s Too Long
In the dead of winter, you see little point in getting a bikini wax, but at the same time you’re worried that if you don’t, things are going to get hairy (cough, cough). The good news is that all hair has a growth phase. While head hair can live for years, pubic hair tends to die and fall out after about three weeks.
9. Women Crave More Sex in the Summer
According to science writer Patricia Barnes-Svarney, women have a heightened sense of smell. So for most women, fragrances like lavender, rose, and mint (summer scents) bring out amorous feelings and increase their libido.
10. Your DNA Is First Created in the Body of Your Grandmother
Baby girls are created in the womb with all the eggs they will ever have in their lifetime. This means that when you’re pregnant, not only are you creating a new being, you are also making half the DNA of your grandchildren, if that little baby girl inside of you decides to one day have children. Talk about matrilineage!
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